It's Snowing and I'm Writing

I have been doing some writing lately. Some of it has been done while I'm in English class sitting at the back table. I have been in this class twice before, I have read Julius Caesar twice before and hated it both times. I despise sitting through it again. So I take out a piece of paper and write, pretending to be taking notes. Sometimes it's just a to-do list, or a grocery list. Sometimes I write a scene from my book. This last week I worked on a poem.

I have not actually written a poem for a long long time. They come so rarely these days. I had this one brewing in my head for a while, and then while reading a book I came across one word, and the rest of the poem just fell into place. I love it when that happens. I still have some work I want to do on it, though, as I am rusty.

I have also found that writing with pen and paper is a lot harder than typing for me. I guess I can type faster than I can write, so my words get a chance to flow better. I don't know. What I have written by hand has totally sucked, and I am not just being modest. It sounds like something I wrote when I was 14. There seems to be some sort of block between what my brain is thinking and what my hand can write. I get impatient and skip things and take shortcuts. I sometimes just rip it up and throw it away because I'm afraid someone will find it and read it and laugh because I'm such a loser. I should probably stick to the computer. I should actually be spending more time with the kids, or cleaning my house. I have the weekend ahead of me to get things done. We'll see how it goes.

I had this very strong sensation of alienation at work yesterday. I know that I am surrounded by people with different values and ideals and ways of thinking than mine. Most of the time this does not cause any problems, as I care for everyone around me and am happy with my job. Yesterday the differences were just glaringly obvious and made me feel very unsettled. It just went on the entire day. First off, somebody asked me about buying the book "Twilight" for her daughter. She said that some of the teachers had loved it and recommended it. The librarian herself had said that it was "so well written!" I wrinkled my nose and said that I hated it. (Sorry Tonya). They looked at me like I had grown an extra head. Then I walked in on some kids talking about Mexicans, and one girl said that Mexicans scare her. Turn around and walk back out. Then later the subject got brought up AGAIN that I don't do dairy, in front of a kid who is a dairy farmer. He kept asking me questions, about what is wrong with dairy. I kept repeating, "I don't want to talk about it right now. Let's just get our work done." And he kept asking, quite honestly completely perplexed that someone would not drink milk. I didn't want to talk about it, because every reason that I gave to him he would shoot down as stupid, and give me that look that I just keep getting. He shook his head and said there was something wrong with me. I understand why he thinks that. He has never even thought that there could be some other way to live other than his own. The idea is so far out of his realm of understanding that he can't even imagine it. Many people are like this, but not all. But this kid also thinks that everything that is not country music sucks, because that is all he has ever listened to growing up.

I guess I just feel bad for these people that live in a bubble of their lives and never see or imagine anything outside that comfort zone. They are missing out on a world full of life-changing, amazing ideas, music, movies, art, books, poems, food, images and conversations. BREAK THE BUBBLE!