Adult Angst

Warning: If you are offended by the word fuck, you should probably not read any further.

I have enough to deal with right now in my life. Things are really quite stressful for reasons I won't go into right now. Today there is no school for a teacher workshop day, but I had to get out of bed early anyway. And then there was snow on the ground. I had to attend a fucking one hour meeting for work. Apparently there are some new laws about employees that drive students in school vans and cars and such. The absolute worst part of my job that I dread every morning is getting up when the fucking sun is not even up yet, getting my kids off the school and going to work, then getting in the cold school van and driving ten miles to pick up a student in a wheelchair. In the winter, this is hell.

So now, according to this FUCKING law, I will have to do a number of things with the FUCKING van before I can even FUCKING leave to get this student. This checklist includes things such as checking the fucking oil, the lights, the brake fluid, the brakes, the doors, the horn, emergency lights, and the FUCKING tire tread. So I am going to be out there in the freezing cold every FUCKING morning with a FUCKING coin checking to see that the back tires have 3/8 inch FUCKING tread on them. This is going to take a considerable amount of time, which means I will be considerably late picking up said student, which means his mother will be considerably PISSED OFF. Which also means, worst of all, that I will have considerably less time with my students when I finally do arrive.

I guess the word "paraprofessional" originated from the Latin words for teacher, nurse, mother, psychologist, counselor and FUCKING MECHANIC.

I love my job. I have had to leave my job several times this past few weeks to deal with issues at home. I have been very sad to leave my job and to miss so much time helping these students. Yesterday one of the kids was very upset that I had to leave. But my children come first, of course. What can I do??

Thanks. Now that I have vomited all of that up, I actually feel better. Now I can tackle the other things that are filling my days with stress...and get the dishes and laundry done, find the library books and movies that are super-late, and find the strength to do the right thing for my kids.