Torn

The electrical pollution at my place of employment is off the charts, ridiculously high. They aren't going to do anything about it.

I had the best week ever with my students and it makes me cry to even think of leaving them. I want to hug them and adopt them to be my own.

We had an evacuation drill yesterday and walked two blocks away. When I returned to the school, my legs were so weak I could barely climb the stairs. I am still painfully sore, and will pay for that for a few days now.

That's fucking ridiculous.

I could totally live without my co-workers, the gossip, the bitching, the whining, the backstabbing, the phoniness, the complications, the frustration, the judging, the negativity, the INSANE things I deal with on a daily basis.

Imagine how nice it would be not to have to hear how stupid every assignment is, how dumb and boring every book is, how lame everything is, how they will never need to know this because they are just going to milk cows/work on cars the rest of their lives anyway. Imagine never having to tell the kids to put their effing cell phones away. Never having to nag a kid about the essay that was due a few days ago, never have to hear, "What are we supposed to do?" right after the teacher explained it all, never have to hear, "There's a test?!" when they really should have known, never have to hold a kid's hand through a test on a book they never fucking bothered to read, never have to help a kid play catch-up all the time because his parents let him skip school at least once a week, never have a student glare at me on a daily basis because I turned her in for using her cell phone in class.

It should be easy to leave all that. Especially since the building is making me sick.

I could work from home being a proofreader. I have already figured it all out, exactly what I could do to make money doing something I enjoy, working as much or as little as I want, whenever I want.

I just don't know if I can do it.