Horror?

Several years ago, maybe even before I had kids, I was passing out candy on Halloween. At the end of the night, there was a knock on the door. When I answered it, I saw a large gorilla standing there holding a bag open. I knew it had to be an adult, but I gave him a few pieces of candy and went to shut the door. Before I could get it shut, he stuck his arm through the door, holding the bag out for more candy. I wouldn't give him any, and he wouldn't let me shut the door.

Now, part of me was feeling a bit panicky. Who the hell was this guy? It could be someone I know playing a trick on me, but what if it wasn't? This all passed through my mind in a few seconds, and then my dad started to laugh. This is not the first time he has tricked me, and not the first time that I fell for it. I always feel like an idiot when I believe everything he says. He laughed at me for a long time, too. I pretended to be pissed off at him, but really I wasn't. How could I be? Because of him I have countless funny stories to tell.

That also reminds me of another dad story. My dad knew of my love for horror movies, so one night we rented a movie that he swore would scare the pants off me. It was Last House on the Left, the original from back in the '70s. If you have seen this movie, you know where the story is going...

He promised over and over again a good scare, even though he couldn't really remember the movie (which became obvious later). He said things like, "When this was out in the theaters, people passed out they were so scared," and, "You better go lock the door now because after the movie you won't want to go out there."

My cousins were over that night, and we all sat in the darkened living room waiting to be scared...In the movie, a teenage girl gets kidnapped by some sleezy guys who rape and torture her and her friend. Imagine the awkward feeling of being young (early teens?) and watching this with your father.

Still he hung on to his original claim. "It gets better, just keep watching," he said. And then, the end. The mother of one of the girls gets revenge on one of the guys in a nasty and original way. And then it was over, and we were all thoroughly embarrassed, grossed out, and traumatized from watching things we never should have seen at such an age. We were pissed off, and we let him know it. I'm pretty sure he was thinking of a different movie...

I see they have made a remake of this movie, but there's no way I'm going anywhere near it.