I am aware that I have a confidence/self-esteem problem when it comes to my writing, especially my writing at the paper. In complete honesty, every time I email an article in, I am cringing and secretly hoping that somehow, nobody will actually read it and realize how awful it is. I don't look at the article in the paper because I like to pretend I'm not even in there, and I don't want to see the words I wrote and realize how awful they really are. There is always this part of me that knows that among the other writers at the paper, I am the lowest of the totem pole, the girl who doesn't even have a degree, the one that gets things wrong in her articles, the girl who is at the meetings and is really nice and everything but really doesn't know what the hell she is doing. I am just cashing my paychecks and waiting for the day that they realize just how bad I am and get rid of me. I've been waiting for three years now...
We have a new owner at the paper and he has assigned me some feature stories and I am thrilled. I don't know when I will get time to work on them, but I will find the time, because they are my favorite stories to write and I am much better at them than the city council and school board meetings. His email was very complementary about my writing skills. He used the word FANTASTIC. I can barely breathe...
I think I will be waiting a little bit longer.
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