Life is approaching something close to normal for us. Garrett is home, he is going to school and, although it is still a work in progress, things are definitely moving in a positive direction. I went back to work yesterday and it felt really good. I got picked on, I had to nag and scold, and one kid even gave me the finger when I told him to take his hat and sunglasses off (he meant it most affectionately, I'm sure). One student had been saving up all of his Economics work for when I came back. I love those guys...
I was back for ONE WHOLE DAY when Grace decided to come down with a fever last night. Sigh. What can I do? I went to work this morning for two hours and came home when Todd had to go to work. Grace has been laying (or lying? I must admit, I get confused with those) on the couch very still and quiet. She asked for a banana and it is still there beside her. I hope she gets better soon.
I have been thinking about life lately and how quickly it all goes by us, and something that Garrett has said more than once. He spends the majority of his time at school, then comes home and has a few hours to eat and watch TV and play and be with me before he goes to bed to start all over in the morning. Lots of people do this, they work and go to school and do extra-curricular stuff that takes up after-school and weekend time and everyone is so fucking busy that we never really talk to each other or take the time to see the world around us and enjoy each other. Kids these days are pressured so much that they get sick, they have anxiety disorders, depression, other mood disorders. They rarely get the sleep (or nutrition) their growing bodies need. Teenagers have pressure like nobody else, and they also get the shaft in so many ways. Nobody expects them to be anything worthwhile, they are just irresponsible, undependable kids that have no respect. I have seen this first hand. How can a kid get through that kind of life without resorting to partying with their friends, drinking, drugs, sex, doing anything they can to feel that they are accepted somewhere? The students I work with rely on drinking caffeinated soda and energy drinks. They fall asleep in class. They can't pay attention. They eat junk food all the time and don't give a shit. They have behavior problems.
I can't help but thinking that life doesn't have to be this way.
Every morning I get out of bed LONG before my body is ready. I rush to get the kids and myself ready for the day, when the sun isn't up yet and it's cold and snowy outside. My boys refuse to eat breakfast, although Garrett sometimes does at school. The school provides unbelievably gross food, highly processed food full of fat and sodium and many other undesirable things. I know they try to make things more nutritious, but their idea of nutrition and mine are very different. They eat underneath a HUGE banner that tells them they must drink milk if they want to be beautiful, healthy, athletic, etc. They learn things in class like how great Christopher Columbus was and how you must use fluoride. There's a big sign in the office that reads, "NO shots, no school," which is complete bullshit, as all I had to do was sign a form and my kids are there.
I don't mean to put down the school my children attend. The people there are very nice, and until this year, the kids have had nothing but good experiences there. They have gone above and beyond to be supportive of Garrett and our entire family through this whole trying time. It's not their fault that there is no money for new books, that numbers are decreasing every year, and that the curriculum is horribly flawed. Even the third grade teacher admits that the work she was giving out in the beginning of the year was very hard for the third graders. It out tremendous pressure on them and caused a lot of stress and tears in kids who are only 8 years old. I shouldn't be fighting with Garrett at night to do his homework and having tears and frustration when he is trying to be home relaxing and enjoying time to himself. And then there is Drew, who whizzes through his math homework every night and is bored to death because it's so freaking easy for him.
My point is, there are other options. A friend of mine homeschools her children, and I have known other people who have homeschooled. One woman I knew seemed very lazy about it, and I never really believed that she was doing anything with them. Another was a large Catholic family of 11 kids. They all desperately wanted to go to public school, and they got their wish a few years ago. Some people have religious reasons for teaching their kids at home. Some people don't agree with how things are done at the public schools. Every child has different learning styles, and different educational needs. It's hard for the public school "one-size-fits all" style to meet the needs of everyone. Kids gets left behind. Kids get neglected for one reason or another. Kids develop apathy that leads them into their teen years and beyond.
I have always been open-minded about people who homeschool, and the more I learn about it, the more I like the idea. I get to do WHATEVER I WANT to teach them. It can be tailored the their specific needs, I can challenge them. We can sleep in. We can do our schooling any time of the day. We can focus on what I feel is important. We could have the time to focus on nutrition. health, exercise, cooking, history, geography, math, social studies, art, music, writing, and wherever their interests lie. One major thing is that we don't have to conform to someone else's schedule and ideas and beliefs. That really appeals to me. I could spend quality time with them, time that I will never get back once it is gone and they have graduated and left the house in a blur of a life that was just too busy.
Whenever the word homeschool comes up, people assume that kids don't get enough socialization. I used to think this myself. Parents who teach their kids at home normally do not keep their kids locked up in the house all the time. They participate in homeschooling groups, activities, field trips, sports, theater, anything. The kids have friends. I could take the kids to a museum in the middle of the day and we could have a first-hand lesson on art. We could go visit a farm or a zoo to learn about animals. And the internet is absolutely bursting with great ideas and learning opportunities for kids. I love to learn, and I desperately want my kids to love learning as well. I am scared to death that the pressures of life will get to them (as they already did Garrett) and they will lose that feeling that all kids have inside, that excitement about new things and discovering their world.
There are some things to consider, though. I would have to quit my job, which would mean less income. We could survive, but it would be a struggle, especially in this economy. And could I do it? Would they enjoy it? Drew really tends to thrive on routine. He likes school, and Garrett has always loved it as well. When I see Garrett's face light up when he waves to his friends, I wonder if he would ever want to leave that environment. I think that right now he would, as he is still adjusting to going back and doesn't really want to be away from me very much. But is this the right choice for them? I just don't know. I don't think Todd would be open to it, and I think family members would definitely frown on it. It's something I have to think about.
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