More Wal-Mart Nightmares

I really thought that I had experienced it all...I survived my two boys as toddlers and I really felt that I was strong enough to deal with anything after that. Things were starting to calm down...the kids are getting older, a little more independent, listening a little better...I got lulled into this false sense of confidence. "Taking them shopping with me will be just fine!" I thought. "It could even be fun!"

But this time of year every child I know is acting like a spawn of Satan. Every student at school, and my own children as well. Pair that with a Friday night at Wal-Mart just a few days before Christmas, and it makes for quite an adventure.

I had to take the kids with me...they had to pick out presents for their dad. I had to get some food for Christmas and my own present for Todd. The boys needed birthday cards, as they both have parties to go to this weekend. And as much as I despise Wal-Mart, I really had no other choice.

I think Grace was the worst. She didn't want to sit in the cart, but whenever I let her down she would run away. So I had to hold her down while pushing the cart and trying to find things I needed. In the meantime, Drew is running laps up and down the aisles, acting like a ninja, mindless of the people around him. They had to stop and touch every single thing they saw. Grace screamed and screamed. I think if anyone was watching me, they would have thought I was a bitch. Every few feet I had to turn around and tell them to "Come on!!!"

We were there for three hours.

While I watched the total on the computer screen go up over $200, Drew had a plastic bag over his head, and Grace had pushed the cart with our coats still in it into someone else's cart who was walking by. Garrett was begging me with all of his might to let him get a travel size hand sanitizer, because he was obviously going to die without it. Then we get out of the store, and Garrett and I had to push the heavy cart with everything we had through the parking lot because someone didn't bother to plow the many inches of snow we got last night. On the way home, I turned up the Wallflowers and tried to ignore Grace's screaming as she tried to get out of the car seat. The entire half-hour drive home.

I am now wishing that I would have bought that giant bottle of vodka I saw instead of the sparkling apple cider.