Things are changing, warming up, shifting oh so slightly. It has rained all week, been cloudy and dreary. But I know what is ahead. Green grass, leaves on the trees, flowers, fresh fruit in season, fresh chemical-free veggies at the farmer's market. Picnics, walks to the parks, bike rides, trips to the pool. Sunscreen and wet bathing suits. Opening windows to fresh air. Coming alive. I am healing, slowly, one cog at a time. I can almost hear the click some days. Like when I went to the waterfall by myself and listened to the water. I sat on a rock, and reached down to put my hand in the rushing, cold water. My hand became almost numb after a few minutes. I could feel the life and the energy from the water seeping into my soul. I closed my eyes and sent out good, healing thoughts for my grandmother.
In the photo, Grace is wearing pigtails in her hair for the first time. I couldn't take my eyes off her. Who would have thought I would have such a blonde little girl? She has also recently learned to dip french fries in ketchup, that rite of childhood that brings such joy.
I took the boys to school yesterday, and Drew ran to his two best friends. They were showing each other their cool toys (it was sharing day). As they walked down the hall together to the preschool room, they reached up and put their arms around each other. Drew was on the left, smiling so big. He's so shy and quiet and I love to see him interact with other kids. It was the cutest thing. I think I even "awwww"ed out loud. He is growing, becoming his own person independent of me, and it's bittersweet.
"Life can be beautiful." - James Dean as Jim Stork, "Rebel Without a Cause"
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