I interviewed a lady tonight for the paper, a human interest story. This lady runs marathons, triathlons and all kinds of stuff, and she has scleroderma. We talked for two and a half hours. She was very nice, and interesting, and inspiring. I also ended up blabbing my mouth off and telling her my whole freaking life story like I tend to do to anyone who will listen. I am beating myself up tonight. I feel like a lazy bum, nothing physically wrong with me and I can't stand to do any kind of physical exercise (except for yoga, which is great, but not a great cardio workout, and besides, I rarely even do that). I used to look at people running and doing marathons and think, "Why the hell would anyone do that? Why run for no reason?" I would much rather sit in the house with a cup of coffee and read a book. I have, however, come to appreciate why these people do what they do. I have given birth three times, and I remember the incredible adrenaline rush, the feeling of power that my body did something that I didn't know was possible. I imagine maybe that's kind of what it's like. And it's addicting. I would love to give birth again, but I don't know that I could handle being pregnant again, or having four children. I'm busy and stressed enough. Anyway, I should cut myself some slack. I mean, I have three little kids, my husband works all the time, I'm kind of on my own, I've been dealing with health issues with my daughter and my son, I am constantly cleaning, cooking, taking care of them. I rarely get time for myself, and if I do, I feel guilty because my house is a mess and I should be cleaning. Like now. There are toys all over the floor in here. I'm too damn tired to care. Grace has food allergies and eczema really bad and we are on this skin care regimen, antihistamines, creams, baths, medicine for her ear infection, special diet. I have to remember to give Drew his inhaler twice a day for his ashtma, and he coughs all day long anyway. I have appointments, the kids have appointments, I have work and deadlines, is it any wonder I forgot Grace's chiropractor appointment on Monday until today? Yes, I know that I could find time to exercise, like in the morning when the kids are in bed and Todd is still home, but I like to stay up late, and in the morning I like to sleep. I LOVE to sleep. What's wrong with that? Time to go do just that.