Eh

-Every time something happens to me, ANYTHING at all, in my head there is a little narrator figuring out how I am going to write it down someday. Sometimes the only place to write it is here. Some things never get written because they are too private and I don't want to risk just anyone seeing it.

-I think I have mentioned this narrator before.

-Last night I was lying in bed and thinking about my grandma. This is because I had just found out, after getting out of the shower, that she died. So I was feeling sad and thinking of her and feeling sad for my dad and the rest of the family and I began to drift off to sleep. That is when the narrator spoke all on its own. No, I'm not schizophrenic. I am a writer. A fabulous idea for a small part of my book came creeping into my head. It blossomed like a flower of its own accord. It was amazing...it was going to change the entire dynamic of the book, make it so much richer, interesting, brilliant. But did I get up and write the idea down? Of course not. And now today it feels like a dream...I can remember fragments but not enough to form anything concrete. Maybe it was a dream. Maybe it was a lame idea anyway.

-Although today was a sucky, cold, dreary day, I felt so much love from my students. I also had a glowing evaluation by the principal and the special ed. teachers. The principal expressed his hope that I plan on returning next year. I didn't respond for a second...I didn't realize that they were actually waiting for an answer from me. Then I said, "Yes." My supervisor, who had been holding her breath, breathed a sigh of relief and scolded me for scaring her like that.

-The absolute worst thing about having this new puppy around that chews and jumps and sometimes piddles on the floor is trying to keep Grace off him. He puts up with her dragging him around while he is trying to sleep (which is pretty much all the time), she pulls on his collar, his tail, his fur, opens his eyes while he is sleeping (which is pretty much all the time). She drags him around and loves him up so much that one day she is going to smother him. He sometimes gives me a pleading look and sometimes he hides from her. But he loves her.

-My grandma had the softest skin, and not one wrinkle. I loved giving her hugs. Every single time she would apologize for being so sweaty but I would kiss her cheek anyway. On Sunday during Mikel's graduation party I gave her a hug and talked to her for a minute. The next time I looked she was gone already.

-Cuddling with a sleeping puppy is great therapy.